Parenting Gyan post - again

Yours truly is like a child learning the alphabet for the first time. With each letter, one thinks one has made the greatest discovery of the planet and must share it with everyone else. So everyone from the mater to the pater to the neighbors is educated on A, B C , complete with the importance of each letter. Bear with me.

I have learnt that the background and privileges available to a child have a huge bearing on how the child turns out, but its not a deal maker or a deal breaker. Every once in a while, one meets people who have defeated their circumstances to appear more successful than the world would expect them to be (success being a relative term of course) , but more often, one has seen the world's best nincompoops coming out of rather privileged backgrounds. And the basic lesson one has learnt is this: The one investment that is mandatory for a child, is the parent's Time.
And in this one case, Time is NOT equal to money.

Only one thing i have discovered - wherever parents invested their time in the child, and used that time to create positive memories for the child, the child appears to have grown "well" (well being another relative term, of course) .

The analogy that comes to mind is that time is to children what water is to plants. The only plants that can survive and grow without water - is cacti. Me thinks there is a lesson in that one. Now, God, help me implement that lesson instead of sitting here in office and wasting time on writing this. If i cant do it now, what will i do with the message in posterity.

Time to act.

The Sikkim Trip

My temple at Tsangpo lake, Sikkim.

For me, this is the real praying place. The small steps next to the temple.

This 19th, Ishaan and i boarded a flight for Sikkim. I go to Sikkim once a year and this year was missed. Since Ishaan was all clingy clingy, i decided, well, lets just go...
This post should have been a day by day diary. Instead, it is going to be a "lessons learnt" post.
> Do NOT take a 2 year old alone with you. Make sure you pack the house, the father and Geeta Didi (in that order of urgency).
> It is not called "Terrible Twos" for nothing.
> Either you can eat or your child can eat. Not both.
> The child can walk a lot. Make him walk that much and he will sleep at 6 in the evening and wake up at 3 a.m. The only way to survive that is to sleep at 6:45 and wake up at 3 with him.
> He will NEVER eat at mealtimes. In fact, if the kid is called Ishaan Kaila, he will just not eat. Period. Which means you will store mountains of food for the eventuality that he may get hungry some time and then end up wasting it, or hogging so u gain weight and ur child loses.
> He will also not sleep. Your best bet is to turn off all lights, make sure the room is safe enough for him to play in alone, keep his milk ready for him, and go to sleep. (No, i did not actually do that, i was only half asleep ;-) )
> When you travel alone with a child, people are usually quite sweet. The hotel staff, in particular, were wonderful.

Ishaan in the hotel lobby. he loved the dancing Santa Claus. All kids did.

> When he says he wants to ride a Yak, it means he wants to sit on it for 2 minutes.

Lets not bore you with any more Yak Yak Yak…

Moral of the Story: A holiday with your 2 year old alone, can be a parenting nightmare. And yet, incredibly more destressing than a holiday alone. Its so worth it when you get home and announce, " i am not doing anything for 2 days. I need a parenting holiday!" and less than 2 hours later, your son brings his food plate to you, all fights forgotten, and insists that he will only eat if u feed him. (then exasperates you again!) , or , when, 4 hours later, he snuggles into you after everyone else has given up on trying to make him sleep, and falls asleep in 5 minutes flat.

Touch Wood!

A good TV channel for kids

What gets passed off as "Kids' entertainment" these days horrifies me, and the word is carefully chosen. Ben 10, and the others, whose names i do not know.. hell, even Krishna and Ramayan have menacing looking demons that are capable of scaring me, leave alone Ishaan or any other child. Add to that the fact that my child is hooked to the TV, its quite a difficult situation.

UNTIL Cbeebies came along. i LOVE this channel. This is kids entertainment as i like it - Teletubbies, Fred the Fire Engine.. and the works.. i luuurrrvee this channel. To all mothers who want their children to watch TV and not get violent, Cbeebies by BBC it is.. i strongly recommend this TV viewing.. of course, if there has to be any TV viewing at all.. which sadly, is a state of affairs i now have to get used to..

When a child learns to talk...

He is capable of telling you things like "Aap mere mumma nahi ho. Aaap jao." and after another fight, "Aap achha mumma nahi ho, aap gande mumma ho." ( a la, aap good baby nahi ho, aap rooo rooo baby ho.) taste of self medication in the second one... :-(
I have stopped calling him anything but good boy after that one... :-)

First Tree Climbing, First Batti, First...

Oh, a lot has happened in Ishaan world and i havent been able to blog about it...

First, the most important one.. Ishaan amazes me with his ability to sense everything that is happening in a room without so much as turning his head.. if the family is in the middle of a conversation, he knows exactly what each one is thinking without even turning his head to look at a person. One day, his father and i spoke about him in sign language / eye contact. Not only did he understand the thoughts perfectly.. he responded to let us know he knows completely. I am worried.

First Batti: Most evenings, i try to do a small evening prayer at home. One day, i asked Ishaan to come for the evening prayer and went into the kitchen to get something.. by the time i came back, Ishaan had reached into the drawer where cotton is kept, broken off the exact quantity required, and also rolled it into a wick required for the lamp... he handed me the almost finished wick and smiled gleefully!

Climbing a Tree: Yesterday, we went to Leisure Valley, which is a small park near our house. As soon as we found a place to sit, i look up and see.... the most climbable tree i have seen in years.. so, Ishaan and i spent that time climbing the tree.... and this time, there are pictures...

Oh, and we had Helium balloons and flew them like kites...

We also had a Fancy Dress in the condo where we live, and my little son stands and balances himself on 2 armrests - ONLY the 2 armrests with no other support. Times like this, you dont know whether to like a gymnastically inclined son, or to stop the heart threatening to jump out of the mouth..

Season of Mater

This is the season of being mamma's son. Ishaan wants me all the time.. he fights with anyone who even remotely threatens mamma.. and in general, my little baby is very very clingy.. flattering as it is, its not right , at least not as i see things..

any tips?

Go ma..

Today, Ishaan was not too well. He still had to go to day care.. i went in the afternoon to check on him. he soo did not want me to go back to office.. so i bent down and explained to him "Ishaan, i really need to go to office.. its necessary.. for both of us.. so this boy.. in the middle of howling... turns to me and says "Go..." he was crying so hard.. and yet waving Goodbye... the only thing that broke my heart as much was.. when he was 2 months old and stopped crying suddenly.. i will never forget that day .. and this one..

Children should not have to grow up so soon.. its not fair..